I'm sure there are SOME men who expend energy in the direction of "changing their woman" but we certainly hear more about females wanting their men to be different. During the dating process these "red flags" ALWAYS" surface but as human beings we have a tendency not to see what is in front of our face. If a man is asked if he noticed that on several occasions his girlfriend wanted him to cut his fishing trip short so he could spend more time with her or bought tickets to a chick flick when she knew he wanted to watch football; he will say that he found it frustrating but didn't really think it was that big of a deal - until he realized that she was relentless in her pursuit to change him.
Andrea and Scott attended their first therapy session with the following presenting problem: Scott was tired of Andrea always wanting him to change his behavior to please her. Andrea admitted that she knew Scott liked to ride motorcycles and hang out with his buddies while they were dating but thought he would not find that as much fun once he was married. She admitted that she only "tolerated" this behavior because she did not want him riding motorcycles. Now she wanted him to sell his bike and spend more time with her.
Kim and Tom dated for several years before they married and they thought they knew each other very well. They admitted that they had discussed their differences with where they wanted to live and if children were in their future. Kim wanted the city, Tom wanted to live in the country. Kim wanted children, Tom did not. (You see where this is going?) These are really BIG issues and there was no compromise. Kim said she thought Tom would change his mind.
If you are dating someone who is trying to change you...don't marry them. Why would it be any different? If you are married to someone who is trying to change you...try therapy and pray!!!